Hi
there. It’s time to inform you of some recent and yet-to-come events.
All the
mornings are still filled with random sounds of workers, builders, heavy
machines and other annoying things. The mornings are dull, happy and somewhat
murky all at the same time, giving a bittersweet and otherwise blank feeling. I
thought Christmas was yesterday. Time sifts down a gutter, down the street, and
into a shadowy sewer with an immeasurable, endless bottom where echoes bounce
off the walls forever and ever.
The
schooldays are between me and my two younger brothers (taught by my mom). We do
schoolwork, sometimes all at the same time, but with different ways of doing it
of course and on divergent levels. It’s good to be almost alone, and comforted
by the fact that I have plenty of time in the day to complete the required
work. But it still takes almost forever but it’s a thing one can adjust to if first diving into. It’s
probably hard at first, just as I could imagine it would be in reverse. It’s
known as being “homeschooled.”
No
one notices the homeschooled kid but that’s how I like it. I can sneak around
and bend through the curves of situations and go unobserved for any given
circumstances, which is kind of awesome. Some people say, “What’s it like being shy?” or “What do you
mean by ‘shy’?” but it’s so hard to answer a question like that knowing how I
am shy admittedly. I normally just say, “I don’t know. I guess that’s just who I am.” When the opportunity comes, sometimes I have a burst of
strength to overcome my usual inability to confront others socially. After these
instances I wonder how I magically just carried on a conversation with someone without
messing up too much. Sometimes I don’t say a thing for fear it will come out
wrong or sound weirder outside of my mind. And the last thing I want to is to
mess up, especially when I want to impress a pretty girl or whatever.
If you’re one of those girls, you probably never noticed me, and that is completely okay with me. That might be the way it always is. Or maybe it will change. Who knows? If you did notice me, however, then I was by no means ignoring you if I never did had one of these “social skills bursts” of sorts. I was just scared out of my mind, because there would have been a pretty girl I would have to look straight in the eyes of if I were to make contact with you. If you don’t know that you’re one of those people it’s probably for the best, because you don’t want a nervous daydreamer with his head up in the clouds to deal with, especially one who anxiously bites his nails just thinking of you.
As
for the period of time I wasn’t homeschooled, that’s another story. I was the
class clown, far from shy, at least compared to now. I was the mischievous one
with a habitat for causing hilarious disasters. Maybe it was all for the better
that I was homeschooled in the third grade, because I definitely wouldn’t want
to be a troublemaker of this age seeing how my future would be much dimmer. I
still cause minor trouble but it’s more of the pranks on my mom and eating the
last cookie in the jar — the hilarious kind.
I’m
attracted to things I see in the distance (particularly shiny things). The
attention deficit nags at me constantly. That’s why I always catch myself
placing my jaw back into position with the rest of my head after staring at
beautiful sights and places. But the worst part about it is that I haven’t been
very far from the tree I fell from. I’ve lived in this area for a large segment
of my life. I haven’t seen the mysteries of the world yet. But that’s what the
future is for. I love the future and that explains my affinity for sci-fi
culture… for the most part.
My
life isn’t boring always — it’s just different
always. I have a jam-packed schedule one day and then the next I’m sitting
in front of the computer writing long blogs about poetry and my life as a
homeschooler. The fact that I’m into writing, reading, blogging, poems,
idealism and romance is altogether startling to most other males because it’s frequently
unusual. I’m okay with that. It startles me too. But there are startling things all around us. Just look in front of you. That path was meant for you to journey.
So
if you like my mindset and poetic ideas that I reveal on here, that literally means
the world to me. I love thinking there’s someone behind a screen reading my
thoughts and actually being somehow impressed by them. It’s beyond surreal. Some
people think my whole existence is just so out-of-the-ordinary and it is. It’s
so different, and I love it. By revealing these thoughts, however, I don’t want to depress you, mess with you or
even impress you; I just want to inform you. This is my life. It’ll
be so fun to one day look back on those sleepless nights, dramatic happenings and
teenage schooldays — as the different,
timid kid, because that’s just how things were and will be. It’s all for the better. I can’t wait for the
next tomorrow for every today. Even the yesterdays are an adventure to ponder. And I’m all
so breathless. I have to no idea what to expect. But that’s the beauty of it.
The
best portion of this journey called “life”
is that my Savior will have a smile on his face when I enter in to Heaven one
day, because I will have done my best, looking towards the future, and
reminiscing on the past, as HIS reliable servant. It’s so humbling and unreal
to think that He could be proud of my small, sinful self. Think about it. It’s
so worth it.
So
what are you doing, friends? What people are you being acquainted with? What
hardships have you overcame? What chapter are you in of the crazy book of life?
Are you laughing at the past and smiling at the future? Are you ready for
whatever may come your way? Are you ready to have your very breath stolen from
your lungs at these unexpected, crazy things? Because
I know where I’m going after this life and I hope you can embrace whatever is
thrown your way. I hope you know that even when your hope is gone, there is
someone else out there who loves you as a soulful human being with a purpose
and this individual is named Jesus Christ. He’s crazy about you.
So this is a little glimpse of my life right now. I’d be humbled to get a glimpse of yours if you’d be willing to share. But remember to maintain your courage, stay steadfast, because before you know it
the CRAZIEST thing will happen. It’s absolutely incredible. I’m electrified.
“Look, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to each person according to what they have done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood. I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you this testimony for the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star.
Revelation 22:12-16
