Starlit Paradise

In case you weren’t aware, I come up with scenarios in my head and then document them when I’m bored. It’s something I do for fun. Sometimes they can get really crazy. But if you like really long whimsical quirky stories, then read away…

I’m completely satisfied with the ways things turned out. There were a thousand crickets that whispered forgotten memories into my head, causing nostalgia to swirl and mix in with dizziness and lightheaded, subconscious ecstasy, a tainted bittersweet. The sound and emotion is intoxicating. My heart is torn into two pieces, both with something specific that they desire more than anything. One piece still wants to say goodbye and the other wishes I’d never met you. All this reemergence churns within the heavy ambience and repeats itself like a broken record, one that’s dusty and old but still capable of working appropriately — seemingly too much at times. The damp wintergreen winds taunt me and my ears are ringing ceaselessly. Everything goes on and on. Déjà vu leaves an aftertaste on my dry tongue that I can’t quite distinguish. But I digest it and move on. I would say it’s always a pleasant feeling, but not every memory is cherished like this one was. But this one was beyond cherished; it was vivid, so vivid I could not only see it with my own two eyes, but I could also feel it with my own two hands. It’s a rabbit trail, I know, but it’s one that might seem applicable to reality, in some sense. I could swear that some of the best dreams I’ve had happen when I’m wide awake.

We were on some sort of concealed tropical island with birds of all kinds — such as toucans, seagulls, pelicans — everywhere. We were exploring and searching for something, probably a treasure chest buried in a valley cave or a volcano ready to erupt that hadn’t been active for years. You led the way as we trekked through the rainforest. I tried not to smile too wide. The saltwater scent faded and the aroma of fruits and palm trees with the fresh breeze invaded our senses. Behind the trees and shrubbery in the distance, I saw the sun inching faster and faster toward the horizon, falling from the top of sky. The daylight was slipping through our fingers and the sand in the hourglass sifted down twice as fast. As the stars made their way up to the heavens and the moon rose abruptly, you began to yawn. The starlight lulled you to sleep as you sat near a large coconut tree. It was completely unexpected. You drifted slowly but I didn’t stop you.

My heart was now beating so fast I thought it would explode. The night grew colder and colder as I walked away for a few moments. All I know is I was so in love with that starlit paradise. God saved me. I was so alone before but now I’m free. I savored it with every breath, hoping for it to last as long as possible. I remember trying to make my way back to you, out of concern. Just as I tried to wake you up though, I lost my train of consciousness and fell down against the tree and dozed off beside you. Everything was vague at this point. But I do recall there being snow on the ground when I woke up. I don’t remember what season it was or how the snow even got there. It was just one of those insane things. My eyes were wide open, but I didn’t know you were awake until you tugged my hand really tightly. Suddenly all the heaviness in my heart dropped and I was starry-eyed and I felt so secure; it was a pause in time. I squeezed your hand back and then time went on immediately after and the moment returned. We escaped the snow and made our way back to the beach where we evaded the cold and went back home. I remember it was so romantic and dreamy and I’m beginning to think my heart did explode. But then things went back to normal. All black and white fairy tales turn to grey.

So surreal…

All I want is Jesus Christ. All I want is to embrace Him like I do an old friend. He’s all I need, and further, significantly more than I need. I was lost at one point but in my darkness, I discovered Him, or rather, He discovered me. I can’t ask for more, but why would I? I’m flawed and every creak in the old haunted house floor will forever echo it — that undeniable, ominous truth: I’m a sinner. The house was forbidden, forsaken and abandoned. But He reached for me and pulled me up from the obscure blackness that surrounded me, and He turned my vacant house into a thriving garden. He made me alive. All I did was want Him. That’s all it took.

Deafening silence roared and echoed throughout an old ghost town. Aged streetlights flickered on and off. The lonely atmosphere was almost unbearable. But He filled it with energy and light, enough to allow breathing, even living. Trees shot up from the cracked concrete. The lamps suddenly lit up inside an old home. Flowers and ivy grew up the sides of brick houses. You can be alive now.

Sometimes you look out your window every now and again just to see those stars — the same stars I’m looking at, the same stars in the sky above our secret island. You think back to the starlit paradise and the unforgettable fantasy. I remember it vividly.

That’s all my mind can conjure right now. It’s all a blur. I’ll write more stories later. Goodnight.