A New Blog

Time has brought me so far since I started this whole blogging experience. I literally cannot believe I began in December of 2011! So surreal!

But, after a large portion of thought and research, I’ve come to grips that I must be willing to explore, and this time with a new world entirely: Tumblr. This means I will be posting a lot more, as well as updating you more often about my life, dreams and ideas. There will be more changes ahead. And though I’m not sure what they all may be, I’m ready.

So do yourself a favor and go explore my own explorations at http://cameronmillerblog.com/. I’ll see you there.

Cameron

The Glass Is Half Full

Hope is dangerous, and can be misunderstood so easily. It’s such an abused word, because so often it’s placed in the wrong context for situations. Hope is not about some blind, naïve shot in the dark towards every little thing in life when all odds go against it. Rather, hope is about trusting that bad situations will get better; it’s about trusting that the impossible can happen with faith. But if that faith is put in the wrong thing or person, the hope could die because of a lack of correct perception on the situation — or a setup for disappointment. Hope is dangerous.

But hope is something that I will always strive for, because there is a reason to smile. A lot of times people tend to think more about the fact that there is a lot of bad in the world, instead thinking on terms of how much good still exists. Your perspective means everything. The misguidance could lead you down the wrong direction, so when things get really tough, it’s best to take a big breath of fresh air and place everything you have in this small virtue called “hope.” It is dangerous, yes, but it gives you a feeling of assurance, something that nothing else does. The glass is half full, and soon enough you’ll find it was worth it, because there would’ve been more regret had you not made the decision to hope, more regret than you know…

So many people think that life just goes on and on and nothing good ever happens, and it never does — because you never expect it. The best things in this life can happen if you long for hope.

Another thing people tend to believe is that optimism is for someone with their head in the clouds, for a daydreamer who is choosing to have faith just because he/she thinks it’s a matter of idealism rather than reality. Hope is about something more, something beyond all of us, something you can’t have enough of. One day it will pay off though. There’s a place on His throne for those who put faith in hope. So, I say all this to say, there is Hope, and His name is Jesus Christ.

Starlit Paradise

In case you weren’t aware, I come up with scenarios in my head and then document them when I’m bored. It’s something I do for fun. Sometimes they can get really crazy. But if you like really long whimsical quirky stories, then read away…

I’m completely satisfied with the ways things turned out. There were a thousand crickets that whispered forgotten memories into my head, causing nostalgia to swirl and mix in with dizziness and lightheaded, subconscious ecstasy, a tainted bittersweet. The sound and emotion is intoxicating. My heart is torn into two pieces, both with something specific that they desire more than anything. One piece still wants to say goodbye and the other wishes I’d never met you. All this reemergence churns within the heavy ambience and repeats itself like a broken record, one that’s dusty and old but still capable of working appropriately — seemingly too much at times. The damp wintergreen winds taunt me and my ears are ringing ceaselessly. Everything goes on and on. Déjà vu leaves an aftertaste on my dry tongue that I can’t quite distinguish. But I digest it and move on. I would say it’s always a pleasant feeling, but not every memory is cherished like this one was. But this one was beyond cherished; it was vivid, so vivid I could not only see it with my own two eyes, but I could also feel it with my own two hands. It’s a rabbit trail, I know, but it’s one that might seem applicable to reality, in some sense. I could swear that some of the best dreams I’ve had happen when I’m wide awake.

We were on some sort of concealed tropical island with birds of all kinds — such as toucans, seagulls, pelicans — everywhere. We were exploring and searching for something, probably a treasure chest buried in a valley cave or a volcano ready to erupt that hadn’t been active for years. You led the way as we trekked through the rainforest. I tried not to smile too wide. The saltwater scent faded and the aroma of fruits and palm trees with the fresh breeze invaded our senses. Behind the trees and shrubbery in the distance, I saw the sun inching faster and faster toward the horizon, falling from the top of sky. The daylight was slipping through our fingers and the sand in the hourglass sifted down twice as fast. As the stars made their way up to the heavens and the moon rose abruptly, you began to yawn. The starlight lulled you to sleep as you sat near a large coconut tree. It was completely unexpected. You drifted slowly but I didn’t stop you.

My heart was now beating so fast I thought it would explode. The night grew colder and colder as I walked away for a few moments. All I know is I was so in love with that starlit paradise. God saved me. I was so alone before but now I’m free. I savored it with every breath, hoping for it to last as long as possible. I remember trying to make my way back to you, out of concern. Just as I tried to wake you up though, I lost my train of consciousness and fell down against the tree and dozed off beside you. Everything was vague at this point. But I do recall there being snow on the ground when I woke up. I don’t remember what season it was or how the snow even got there. It was just one of those insane things. My eyes were wide open, but I didn’t know you were awake until you tugged my hand really tightly. Suddenly all the heaviness in my heart dropped and I was starry-eyed and I felt so secure; it was a pause in time. I squeezed your hand back and then time went on immediately after and the moment returned. We escaped the snow and made our way back to the beach where we evaded the cold and went back home. I remember it was so romantic and dreamy and I’m beginning to think my heart did explode. But then things went back to normal. All black and white fairy tales turn to grey.

So surreal…

All I want is Jesus Christ. All I want is to embrace Him like I do an old friend. He’s all I need, and further, significantly more than I need. I was lost at one point but in my darkness, I discovered Him, or rather, He discovered me. I can’t ask for more, but why would I? I’m flawed and every creak in the old haunted house floor will forever echo it — that undeniable, ominous truth: I’m a sinner. The house was forbidden, forsaken and abandoned. But He reached for me and pulled me up from the obscure blackness that surrounded me, and He turned my vacant house into a thriving garden. He made me alive. All I did was want Him. That’s all it took.

Deafening silence roared and echoed throughout an old ghost town. Aged streetlights flickered on and off. The lonely atmosphere was almost unbearable. But He filled it with energy and light, enough to allow breathing, even living. Trees shot up from the cracked concrete. The lamps suddenly lit up inside an old home. Flowers and ivy grew up the sides of brick houses. You can be alive now.

Sometimes you look out your window every now and again just to see those stars — the same stars I’m looking at, the same stars in the sky above our secret island. You think back to the starlit paradise and the unforgettable fantasy. I remember it vividly.

That’s all my mind can conjure right now. It’s all a blur. I’ll write more stories later. Goodnight.

New Feeling in the Air

A leaf gradually falls from a tree in the distance and makes its way to the grass below. It’s the first sign of fall. New scents are in the air and the heat is beginning to fade away… very slowly, but surely. It’s nearly time to bid summer adieu and return to the busy school life. Soon all the leaves will die and consequently glide down from the trees.

I can honestly say this has been the most exciting summer — in my life thus far. It’s had its ups and downs, but overall it has been a really stirring experience that I’ve shared with a great family and some of the best friends anyone could ask for. I cherished every moment, and I’ve taken opportunities and risks that seem too good to be true. I’ve had so many good influences and so much encouragement. Smiles were everywhere. I would have never thought a shy boy like me could do so many things.

I’m ready to take advantage of even more opportunities and risks, with God’s help. I will continue to be homeschooled for this school year. But as for the future, who knows what’s up ahead? Sometimes you’ve got to take a deep breath and hope for the best. Some things are going to be different now — but that’s the beauty of it all. And as for my faith, it has increased immeasurably, and I treasure every second of worship and prayer that I’m involved in. This is home and I’m where I belong. There’s a new feeling in the air and I’m prepared to breathe it in. I’ll see you all very soon!

With regards,

Cameron

Life’s a Roller Coaster

I just experienced my first roller coaster ride yesterday (yes, this was my first time). I can’t explain how awesome it was, and I realize how much I was actually missing out on, all these years. Buckling myself up and preparing for that first ride made me feel somewhat brave, in a sense. It reminded me of life itself in so many ways. It’s so short but it can seem scary at a glance. However, if you embrace it and dive in headfirst, it’s an overwhelming, worthwhile experience that leaves no time for regrets.

It seems we all want to finish our lives content, knowing we made the right choices. We aren’t promised to live without any disappointment, but sometimes you have to ignore it, throw on a smile for everyone and make the best out of it. One day I want to look back and say, “I didn’t do perfect but I feel really good about it.” I’m down to take risks even if it’s difficult. It’s all about fulfilling God’s plan, by getting out of the comfort zone.

Life’s a roller coaster. Don’t you dare close your eyes. Yes, it has its twists and turns, but if you hold on tight and keep faith, it’ll be worth it in the end.

Gravity

There are so many rabbit holes and dips in this unexpected life, and the experience is more worth it when you’re able to adapt and be as comfortable as possible with the roller coaster you’re on, even if the cliffhangers and jumps get longer and wider with every plunge you make in your own journey. Just be ready because the tables tend to turn faster when you’re least aware of their existence. Sometimes the anticipation will cause chaos and disorder, but you have to stay strong. Reality is sometimes altogether overestimated and it can weigh you down so easily. But you’ll escape it with the right amount of confidence. It’s best to breathe in the hope rather than convince yourself it isn’t present. They’ll try to tell you otherwise, but you have to believe the truth in the midst of a world conforming to its own ideal image of life. When you lack faith, pray for conviction. When you fall in love, make certain you’ll be caught.

Omnipresent Magic

As of late, I have been experiencing what is commonly referred to as writer’s block. Not too long ago, I began to believe that it was practically impossible for me to have trouble writing when I’m keeping a steady pace. But monotony and apathy started to kick in and I caught onto it. The fact that what you’re doing could be repetitive, predictable or seemingly too good to be true becomes noticeable really fast. Just when you think you’re doing your absolute best, things can easily lose their effect. However, I’m totally cool with it and I’m feeling a great deal of inspiration at the moment. I just want you to know it’s a constant thing: some days I’ll feel confident and everything I’m trying to convey or portray will come out right, but some days the speed will die down and what seems to be omnipresent magic will soon fade and I’ll lose assurance and motivation. But rest assured, I intend to never give up on something I’m passionate about, no matter how difficult it may be to express it.

Thanks for being awesome, and for all of your feedback about my writings. It makes me smile knowing someone can essentially read my ideas and be impressed. It’s humbling and I’m undeserving. All the glory goes to God. There’s more up ahead.

Full Focus

Yesterday a few friends and I got together to discuss, pray and read the Bible. A few verses stuck out to me. As I read, I discovered a few things I hadn’t given much thought before. Here are the verses:

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

The initial thing that I thought of as we dived into the discussion was this: is there not a time for mourning, sadness and grief? But as we dove deeper into those verses, a few things hit me at full focus.

First of all, “rejoice always,” in reality, demonstrates always being optimistic and confident that everything will turn out in the end. It doesn’t mean to have a smile on my face every second of the day; it simply means to keep away from depressing feelings and insecurities, and ultimately know God is guiding your life, like a brush against a canvas, one stroke at a time. This roller-coaster life really has a way of taking you to the unexpected, so it is important that you keep your head up even when the sky seems to be falling.

The passage saying “pray continually” struck me immediately. How can you pray unceasingly? We’re all sinful and it seems impossible to always be thinking about or talking to God. But it doesn’t mean it’s vital to pray so persistently that it’s nearly impossible to think about anything else; as an alternative, it means we should pray no matter what the situation; it’s casual but essential. Mark Driscoll put it this way: “Prayer is just talking to Dad.” It doesn’t get any more real. Prayer is simply chatting with God, informing God, answering God, asking God, and thanking God — it’s just a conversation.

The last statement, “give thanks in all circumstances,” wraps up the idea of constant hope. No matter what the situation, there really is always a reason to be grateful. God appreciates it when we appreciate what He has given us. It’s about content, gratitude and humility.

I’m so excited to know how much this can affect anyone’s faith — to put everything on the spotlight — that there is hope without end, that praying strengthens our relationship with our Father and that gratitude is necessary to make it all happen.

Aurora

I love coming up with second-person scenarios and wild stories that paint vivid, and somewhat beautiful, pictures of escapism in my head. More than that, I love sharing them…

You’re feeling gloomy and tremendously lonely. All days are repetitive, they echo themselves. I tried to warn you over and over, but it’s too late. And everything that happens is always the same and you want somehow for things to be different. It’s a midsummer night and tomorrow is Saturday. You’re tired so you turn off the old flickering lights, roll down the broken window blinds, sneak into your thin, warm covers and kiss your dreadful loneliness goodnight. You’re desperate for change and to know you’re not hopelessly alone, that someone special is out there still caring for you. And you know he’s crying himself to sleep too and he didn’t want to leave. You pray to God that he’s all right and that’s what makes him feel so alive, even though he doesn’t know it. He feels your love… and that’s all that matters. You wake up abruptly and pull the slide door open and step out of the aged house and onto the unexpected sandy ground. You’re on the beach.

By the taste of the dry air and sharp-cold breeze, you can tell it’s only a few hours past midnight. You’ve been thinking about him. Is it just a dream? The night is so crystal-clear that you can plainly see other solar systems across the open sky. For that, you have God to thank. As you walk through the maze of dunes and palm trees, it hits you suddenly: this cannot be a dream.

When you finally end up near the ocean, the clouds cover the stars, concealing them behind blankets of mist and fog. You stand there in the sand for hours, closing your eyes, reminiscing and thinking about all those bittersweet memories in your past and nostalgic daydreams of love and forgiveness. It used to be a blur, but now you can see it undoubtedly. A quick, icy chill darts through the veins in your feet. The tide has arrived, and your eyes jut open like a rusty cannon firing for the first time in several years. The sun is rising steadily and it’s a new day. It’s morning.

You don’t know what’s going to happen but God gave you another chance, a new hope, and everything immediately feels better, and whatever happens, you know it’s for the better. The rust-covered, cloudy sky surrounds you. The aurora is breathtaking. God brightens your day with the brilliant sunrise that combines the most unimaginable of colors. Everything is okay now. The ambience is startling. You can hear a strong voice silently say through the wind, “You’re not alone.” You smile and say hello because that’s what you do when you meet Someone.

Charisma and Déjà Vu

When I go to a place I haven’t been to in years, the memories flood in like a waterfall. It’s amazing how so many good memories can be trapped within the walls of an old building or the eyes of a familiar old friend. Sometimes I wish I could revive certain moments of my life and relive instances just because they are so uplifting.

Cherishing and reminiscing are two things I do without thinking. But when I take a minute to reflect on these things, I realize how remarkable they are and how much God loves me to have given me such an amazing life with amazing people and heartwarming times spent in togetherness. Everything can be magical and electrifying. I know I’ve felt these feelings before, but where? Charisma and déjà vu and their effects surround me. I want to make sure I do something in every situation. I want to treasure this life with every thread of who I am. Every second is precious. Every person is amazing. There’s potential in every corner, and I’m ready for whatever this life throws at me.

I’d rather make a moment than sit here and wait for one.

Panama City Beach

Last week I went with my church to a five-day camp called “BigStuf,” where different groups gather together in a hotel by the beach to praise Jesus, have fun, meet new people, eat lots of food… you get the idea.

I can’t describe how amazing a place like the beach was for an event like this. The palm trees scenery, oceanic horizons, orange sunsets, paths that wind along the seaside, leisurely people that stroll back and forth on the shoreline, guitar players in gazebos by the beach, old and new friendly faces, breathtaking blue skies, arenas filled with thousands of individuals — all of it was beautiful, and all of it fit the occasion of worshiping and growing closer to the God that surrounds us. There were so many things that electrified me: the quiet times on the seashore, the exhilarating worship sessions, the inspirational quotes by the speakers, the fresh smell of saltwater in the air, the memories in the busses and vans, the late nights with loud music, the vivid sun in the morning sky, the solid prayers to God and so much more. I keep trying to take better snapshots, breathe in more opportunities and devote myself to the Lord.

It was so intimate, yet so vast. It was so close, yet so huge. No video, picture, writing or painting could explain the emotion I felt. I came home from summer camp with confidence, and I can promise you I’ll never forget those diminutive yet thrilling five days of my life. Go do something crazy for God. You’d be surprised at how remarkable and worth it all the risks and jumps in your average life will bring you if you dive right in.

Desperation

I’ve recently come across quite probably my favorite chapter of the entire Bible. A few weeks ago I was thumbing through the Psalms looking for an optimistic, insightful passage or two to brighten the day. When I saw this chapter, I froze. It got me so excited and electrified. Some verses in the Psalms really stick out to me, and this particular chapter went beyond that. It depicts the crying, desperate heart of the Christian longing for grace and hope. The whole chapter was poetically sewn together and weaved so perfectly, and I can safely say all of it applies to my life.

Here is my favorite portion of it:

Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone. For my enemies speak against me; those who wait to kill me conspire together. They say, “God has forsaken him; pursue him and seize him, for no one will rescue him.” Do not be far from me, my God; come quickly, God, to help me. May my accusers perish in shame; may those who want to harm me be covered with scorn and disgrace. As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.

Psalm 71:9-14

You can read the rest of the chapter here if you desire:

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+71&version=NIV

I can’t help but reflect and immerse myself with this concept when I read something so assuring and heartwarming. Sometimes I have this feeling of need and hunger for God’s love in my darkest of hours. I just want to read this chapter over and over like I listen to a song and just keep soaking up whatever it is that makes me so excited.

My absolute favorite verse in the chapter is that last line. I can literally feel it, the hope; it’s alive in my life. I can breathe it like the air surrounding me. It’s humbling. I can honestly say this verse speaks for my life as a Christian, an outcast, a daydreamer, an outsider. “As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.”

Waving Goodbye

Hello. 

The word goodbye, for me, has always been a bittersweet. When it’s set into motion, the aftereffect is a taint, sickening reality that always stings like a bee. On the other hand, sometimes saying goodbye to something can rid of it if it were to be an immoral, or maybe unnecessary, thing in life. Consequently, I’ve learned to treasure hellos every chance I get, because honestly the goodbye could be just around the corner. Living life to the fullest, giving everything a chance: it’s motivating to me.

I’m a really quiet and shy boy, so when I discover the opportunity of (or when I'm forced into) approaching someone new, I tend to stumble on my words out of my nervous habit or make a strange impression by not being outgoing or seemingly “welcoming.” But that’s something that has, in a good way, really grown onto me, for the better. Sometimes when I’m approached by others, I feel they went out of their way just to say hello to me. It’s cherishing. The word “hello” (or “hi” or “hey,” etc.) is such a warm, inviting expression, in my opinion. When put into action it visibly shows you're opening up to another individual. Goodbyes are a little more haunting and even more depressing, if you really allow them to get to you. But I think the problem is not that goodbye is such a strict, finishing word, if you will; I think instead the reasonable problem is that we assume the goodbye is final and concluding as far as relationships go. Maybe that’s just too pessimistic, and maybe negativity ruins it all. Maybe the next time you say goodbye, you should welcome new situations, just like you do with a hello.

A goodbye is just as warm and congenial; it’s a greeting, just as a hello is. We should treat it as such. So anytime I feel despaired by the fact that saying “so long” is an implication to never returning, I’ll remember there’s a reason for everything and that the darkest of hours are the times that God needs us to trust in Him most, because that’s when we’re least attentive. And the next time I’m cheerfully waving goodbye, I might realize how much heartache it can cause and how I may never see whoever it is again — but I can always hope… because maybe, in reality, that wasn’t the last goodbye. The world will still be spinning around, time will slowly go on as always, and perhaps I might say hello again.

Goodbye.

Emotion You Can Hear

The inspiration and feeling portrayed by music has obviously been mentioned by many people in the past. But I’m so electrified to say that music really does enhance one’s ideas and thoughts. I love the way a sound can totally evolve your present emotions in the blink of an eye. It’s as if reality contains secrets and magic that is found in different noises, and I absolutely love decoding each song.

I listen to various different categories of tunes (and I usually don’t have many problems with others’ music tastes), and here are a few genres I’m most familiar with: electronic pop, house, trance, ambient, disco, instrumental, punk, some alternative and even  a little country every once in awhile. But honestly, it all depends on whether or not the sound catches my ear; even so, I’ve learned to find something catchy in virtually every song I’ve heard, but it’s all in the opinion in the end.

This is a segment of my current most favorite artists: Owl City, Relient K, He Is We, Lights, Switchfoot, Swimming With Dolphins, Armin van Buuren, Above and Beyond, Capital Kings, Daft Punk, The Album Leaf, etc. Even though sometimes I tend to move on to a new, different noise or group of songs or category of sounds, I usually go back to the ones I’ve always had a thing for. So in reality, my music taste grows as time goes on. It’s funny, as a ten-year-old I didn’t listen to many fields of music, except maybe some Christian rock here and there, and now I’ve discovered an entire chain and network containing thousands of divergent musicians and bands that I would’ve never known existed. There are so many worlds to explore if you’re willing to dive into the crazy universe of music, because in the present day, people everywhere are trying desperately to be heard, and for some of them music is their way of doing just that. And there are so many backgrounds behind each individual song. I love how one can make me feel depression and another can make me feel optimism, and one can make me feel calmness and another can make me feel excitement.

There are so many emotions that an artist might try to get you to hear — or possibly he/she just wants you to decode it for yourself. Whether you compose music to have your emotions be heard or as a means of dealing with some of life’s mystery, it’s for a reason and I sincerely appreciate it. Music is emotion you can hear. Sometimes it sounds so sweet I think I can taste it too. Maybe you listen to music to discover what your present feelings are, maybe you listen to music to channel a new feeling entirely — either way, it seems I’ll never get over the way it strikes a chord in me and everyone else.

Floods of Nostalgia

I love the many levels of influence that small things can create. This is just an example. So earlier today I sat down on the living room recliner, with a glass of milk containing cereal in my hand, as my seven-year-old brother sat on the recliner left of mine, while we both gazed at the TV screen that depicted midway through one of the old Winnie the Pooh films we had on DVD. We watched “The Tigger Movie,” the intriguing tale of the character that portrays a tiger that has the ability to bounce, named Tigger. In this particular flick, it was his time to shine in the storyline that normally focused on the inquisitive, honey-craving stuffed bear Pooh.

Tigger’s mission was to find his family of other “Tiggers,” in hopes of communicating with his kind, and throughout the entire story he never did find his species of relatives. However, meanwhile the rest of the characters in the Hundred Acre Wood tried to convince him that they themselves were his family. At the end, Tigger finally realized that the family he was looking for was with him the entire time.

An overflow of memories invaded my thoughts and captured me in the reminiscence of this childhood hope of mine — and preferred Disney movie at the time. I couldn’t help but think, “Maybe everyone is here. Maybe I shouldn’t look for family, relationships and friends. They just come naturally.” And as quirky as it sounds, it’s true. You should never have to search; the only important thing is to wait. Words couldn’t describe how it made me feel. Floods of nostalgia and cheerfulness brightened everything and it honestly brought a few tears to my eyes. It’s these little things that affect me in a big way.

I feel like every cynical thought fades when I dare to approach this mindset. I know that God’s way of showing me how to handle different situations comes in many forms, and this was definitely one of them. Although I’m not completely sure what lies on the road ahead, I know that these things are purposeful insights given by God Himself to inform us how to do things right. Though this story is a great example of God’s ultimate knowledge and information, the Bible and prayer are always the most reliable. So the inspiration for basically everything I do is simply in my frame of mind. This is just another way of communicating. Here and there, you have to crack the code, but that’s just who I am.

Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine what everything would like if they were open.

Bickley

There’s a typically disregarded homelike small town in southern Georgia called “Bickley.” It’s where my grandparents and their daughter (my mom) used to live. My grandparents still own a farm there with woods, land, lofts and their former house which is a near wreck right now, with wood slabs dangling out of the ceiling — and old boxes, torn furniture and vintage tapes covering the floor. However, every little detailed aspect contained in their property is strikingly beautiful if you look at it in the appropriate perspective. My uncle, after living there a long time with his parents and his little sister (my mother), he respectively named his dog after the place.

All of the scenery there is literally awe-inspiring. I always remember to keep my eyes open with a vintage filter coating them to put everything in every possible view, because the place looks good whether you see at as old-fashioned, modern or just the way it is. There is pure emotion everywhere: in the fields of cotton, in the cracks on the roof of the home, and within the cobwebs covering one of the old, decomposed farmhouses that have boards hung out of their sides. I always love just sitting back to look at it, obviously ignoring the mosquitoes and heat. Sometimes Papa would tell me stories about things that would happen there, and Nana would describe the intricacies within the main house, and Mom would tell me about the fun times with my uncle. It’s nothing out of this world, but it gives me chills to be at such a legendary place. Bickley and its wonders are a huge chunk out of my family’s life and it’s something that will most undoubtedly be inherited in the future to my (and my brothers’) offspring forever.

I love taking photographs and I captured a few memories and moments last week when I had the opportunity to visit Bickley as I stayed at my grandparents’ current house in Waycross (a moderately larger town right around that area), along with the rest of my family. Though the majority of these are obviously recent, a few of these photos are from last year. But take a glimpse of what it’s like to spend a few instants in a place where the little things matter the most.

Don’t Close Your Eyes

A deluge of happy thoughts invade everyone’s mind, giving them so much to be excited about. The air in the breeze is filled with happiness and the imagery given is beyond your wildest reveries. The beautiful array of scenery and sights fills the very air you breathe with wonder and cheer. I can’t tell you to be optimistic enough. I just know everything’s going to be fine. Be prepared for some insane things to happen, because I’m serious when I say they will occur. Get ready for the ride of your life because no matter how old or young you are, if you have an optimistic view on things, every little thing will turn out a lot better than it would otherwise, and it will be crazy. I feel like taking out a ukulele and playing a few chords. (I'm just kidding — I can’t play but that’s not the point.)

You know, something so dreamy, so awe-inspiring, so incredible about the summer makes me feel comfortable inside. It’s very heartwarming, so much that the sight of romantic beach scenes and carefree leisure gives me shivers (although it is ironically burning up outside, so to speak). So have a fantastic day, don’t get too excited about summer, don’t take too big of a breath, and by all means don’t close your eyes; it’ll leave you all in a blink.

You Must Be Dreaming

Let me tell you a quick story, a concept of romance and dreamscapes, a rhythmical yet most-likely sentimental thought that I’ve put into words. But let’s be honest, it’s really quirky and you might laugh but I wouldn't blame you. Read away.

I still think of her always. Ever since that one night, I haven’t blinked without the recollection taunting me. I walked away changed, but in a way that brightened everything. The lights were dim and the quixotic darkness aroused my sleepy butterflies, causing them to explode in my stomach and swarm into my heart. The pure sound of silence left a healthy ring in my ear. I wasn’t expecting company and neither was my heart, but that was what was so magical. A gentle knock hit the door twice, loud enough for me to hear it but quiet it enough so to not waken anyone. I approached the sound of the knock immediately, slowly opened the door, then beheld probably one of the most beautiful scenes I’d ever seen; she was an angel. I never slightly believed in “love at first sight” until that very moment. I couldn’t speak. But the strangest part about it was that I didn’t have to.

This innocent heavenly being advanced towards me, and as she did my hands turned numb — but I didn’t care. I didn’t even say a word. She grabbed my right hand and pulled me out the door. I followed quickly with absolutely no hesitation. Her hand was soft but her fingers gripped mine tightly. We ran through the streets and then she pulled me into some kind of a forest. We chased each other for hours and ended up in a meadow. We found ourselves with our hands gripped together laying back in the grass, gazing up that at the stars. The breeze sharply ran through the distance.

There were a million things to tell her, but I didn’t say a word.

I was not completely nervous. But you know me well enough: I still struggle with anxiety. So I shivered as her fingers wedged in the gaps between mine. Her hair blew all around her face as the breeze flowed speedily. The sun began to ascend, but as it did, she pulled me around the maze of hills, and out of all the confusion the next thing I knew, we were by the beach. The sun steadily dragged up over the horizon and mixed its brilliant orange and maroon hues with the watercolors within the vast oceanic remoteness of the open sea. Literally the sun mixed in with the ocean, giving an array of beautiful, unthinkable, bright tints and shades beyond the imagination of the most inspired mind. You could see the crystal-clear purple galaxies in the vivid ambience of the almost-morning sky. The atmosphere was breathtaking. It felt like I could breathe the stars. Even with all this beauty, she was still easily the most beautiful thing in sight at that moment. It was God’s way of showing how absolutely beautiful of a God He is and was and always will be.

She placed her finger over her lips, signaling me to hush completely and stay still. Then she used the emotion in her eyes to visibly ask me to dance with her. It sounds crazy, and maybe it was, but I wanted to risk it. Looking back on it, it would seem that it was a total joke or a misinterpreted situation, but I knew undeniably that she meant it. So as dorky and pathetic as I clearly looked, I attempted to dance with her. At first she seemed hesitant and even timid, but she quickly made herself comfortable, as did I after persuasion. I made it awkward for both of us, but I didn’t care and neither did she. It was surreal. She leaned towards me and whispered, “You must be dreaming.” And I was.

That daydream of sorts could’ve been a glimpse of the future — a hope for me, a taste of optimism, a glance for any wishful thinker — because I know without a doubt that there is a right girl, a perfect moment, a heartfelt ambience, a romantic future, a brighter day. Wherever you are in this journey, don’t give up. You’ll make it in the end. There’s someone for everyone, whether you're a realist or a dreamer. And there’s a moment for you, and for me, friends, whether we’ve experienced it yet or not. 

Taste optimism. Breathe reminiscence. Sense opportunity.

This Is What I Believe

Thousands of years ago, a man who was perfect and flawless, the Son of the Creator, walked the very face of the earth in order not to punish us but to redeem us, and to free of us from the chains of our own sins. His name is Jesus Christ. Like anyone with a firm public principle of mind, Jesus had haters and He also had lovers. He was born as one of us, breathing the air of humanity, feeling what we felt, enduring our own pains. He was faultless though.

He lived as one of us but not once did He make a mistake. And that, my friends, is why He was scorned and detested — because people were jealous, envious and resentful. He warned us that He would give His life and yet it took us by surprise. One week before He was destined to be nailed to a cross, they respected Him, they worshipped Him. But soon enough, they backstabbed Him for the very pleasure of it — WE backstabbed Him. The pain He suffered was undoubtedly the most horrifying ache one could sustain. But just when every hope was lost, something happened that changed the entire world: He rose from the grave that held Him captive. He began to breathe existence again. It was then that everyone regretted giving up on Him.

I don’t think this is some fairytale or myth — or even something that I don’t fully put faith in. This is what I believe. It’s life-changing, overwhelming, heartwarming. Jesus was mocked for being the Redeemer, which means you’re going to be mocked for believing in the Redeemer. He said this to His disciples (and it applies to us, the messengers, as well):

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me. If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin; but now they have no excuse for their sin. Whoever hates me hates my Father as well. If I had not done among them the works no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. As it is, they have seen, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated me without reason.’”

John 15: 18-25

Moustache

When I grow full facial hair (assuming I will), I will be sure to include a mustache, some sideburns and maybe even a soul patch. Just thought this would be lovely to know.

The Greenest Grass

I’m often reminded that the grass is always green on the other side. Sometimes it’s fun to wonder if, by the time I arrive on the other side, the grass from the original side really was a deeper green to begin with, now in contrast with the present dark hue of the ground. Maybe that’s just it. Maybe you really never know what have until it’s gone — or maybe you never know who you have until they’re gone. Maybe they’re right there in front of you.

So, switching topics casually, what’s true love? Is it a person? Is it a relationship? Possibly both? I’ve tried looking for it everywhere. I’ve scoured through my surroundings because I’m an observer, an eyewitness, I possibly notice everything as a way of communication versus speaking with words. I just love looking for things. Honestly, love comes to me as a completely sweet surprise. But falling in love is not the same. Nevertheless I find that also to be incredibly sweet… and it’s a marvelous mystery that I’ve regrettably never fully understood. Regardless, I know love comes in many ways. And God is love. And God is a mysterious being. So love is mysterious. I’m killing my brain with all of this, but my point is that love is something that is crazy and genuinely hard to find, no matter how much you search. That being said, why are we searching? Why aren’t we asking?

God should give us love if we request it. Knock and the door will be open. Seek and you will find. Thus love is reachable, but not searchable. Does this apply to falling in love? Maybe, but wouldn’t that be tripping in love? Falling in love comes naturally, you shouldn’t have to ask. So maybe if you trip in love (purposely), you won’t necessarily “live happily ever after.” But who am I to say that? It’s all in your heart. The main article I need to establish is that love is not something you force. In all seriousness, it really does come naturally. Thus, in the end, I’ve come to realize the simple truth:

I shouldn’t be searching at all. I should be waiting. Correct me if I’m wrong but that is love.

Even if the other side of the hill is boring, can’t we still trust the sun to shine? Can’t we still hope for love… because hope is from God? Isn’t love just around the curve? So many questions. But if you really do gulp that huge breath of oxygen, gather yourself accordingly, taste the strongest breeze, prepare yourself for a lifetime’s relationship, and climb that hill, and then obtain the right optimistic perspective, you’ll find the grass is greener. But only because you were willing to love, you were willing to risk, you were taking your chances with viewpoints. And if you’re willing, you won’t to have search. Your only job is to wait. The greenest grass isn’t your imagination. The greenest grass is your hope. And your hope is from God. And God is love. That’s my perspective.

Crazy Startling Things

Hi there. It’s time to inform you of some recent and yet-to-come events.

All the mornings are still filled with random sounds of workers, builders, heavy machines and other annoying things. The mornings are dull, happy and somewhat murky all at the same time, giving a bittersweet and otherwise blank feeling. I thought Christmas was yesterday. Time sifts down a gutter, down the street, and into a shadowy sewer with an immeasurable, endless bottom where echoes bounce off the walls forever and ever.

The schooldays are between me and my two younger brothers (taught by my mom). We do schoolwork, sometimes all at the same time, but with different ways of doing it of course and on divergent levels. It’s good to be almost alone, and comforted by the fact that I have plenty of time in the day to complete the required work. But it still takes almost forever but it’s a thing one can adjust to if first diving into. It’s probably hard at first, just as I could imagine it would be in reverse. It’s known as being “homeschooled.”

Why Does the Sun Shine?

Suddenly the world isn’t too dull anymore. The hope of spring is nearly just around the corner. Optimism is here, waiting for that first breath of faith you take when you dive into a world of living things.

You wonder, “Why do the bluebirds sing? It’s so repetitive. Why does the pollen sting? It’s so unnerving.” But can’t you see? The bluebirds sing because they have brilliant melodies to release. The pollen stings because of the amount of plant life waiting to grow. Though everything does have a downside it also has an upside to keep things moving cheerfully.

There’s a plan behind the earthly brutality of life, and in the heart of the Creator there is a deep passion for a brighter day that you can already catch a glimpse of.

So you ask, “Why does the sun shine? It makes me blind.” Well, there’s a beautiful sky, so look on the bright side.

If you can’t see it, try opening your eyes.

Smile Because It Happened

108 years ago today Theodor Seuss Geisel, or better known as “Dr. Seuss,” was born. He was a very talented writer, poet and cartoonist. And I feel like I can almost relate to someone who daydreams this much. He was definitely my favorite author when I was younger… and he still is because as I grow older I realize how vital imagination is; it shows your true thoughts and gives you kind of a glimpse of the parallel world between reality and fantasy that shows not the differences, but the similarities.

One of my favorite quotes by him is, “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” Even though this takes some thinking, it pretty much speaks for itself, in a cheerful way. So I’m just trying to give this man some credit for inspiring the heart of some of my writings — and mindsets.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

-Dr. Seuss